To read and not to write

Have you ever wish that people would do what you think they should've done?
Or do things the way you think it supposed to be done?
In other word, to wish that all people would be just like me? Think like me, act like me... how hard would that be?

Here is a awakening thought "Things that thrills me might bothers others"

I believe some or even few people in the world are good listeners, and I'm definitely not one of them. That is why psychiatrist is highly paid to L.I.S.T.E.N.

We are so busy trying to 'write' and ignore the fact that it is important to 'read' too. Sometimes we are trapped in the world of "I know better" "There's nothing wrong in doing things my way".
And mostly it wasn't due to being arrogant or selfish. We are just desperately wanna do things better, which means it has to be done our way.

Maybe it's time for us to increase our reading hours. Instead of 'write' - trying to fix things, to get people to change, we could pause and look at ourselves. We may have to change our own way of thinking. I know it is extremely hard because what we want to do is not necessarily wrong, but it is just not the right thing to do for us and others' sake :)

This is the challenge : Do one thing you don't like per day, and see how it goes!

An empty vessel

A lot of times in my prayer, I would ask God to use me. The question is, how much space in my life which I left God to fill?

Lets see... I'm not exactly an empty vessel as I would love to be. I have my own dream, goal, plans to fulfilled. I saw myself in the future as a business analyst who work in a challenging environment. I saw myself serving God from behind the curtain in the church, at my workplace etc.

What if God tells me now, "Leave your job and be a missionaire" Would I be able to say 'YES' undoubtly?

Do we really meant it when we say "God, use me"?

What type of doctor are you?

I've just bought a new j-dorama which story evolves around Usako; a female intern who is working towards her dream to be a doctor. Then in order for her to be a doctor, she has to be trained by doctors from different department in the hospital.

The first doctor was a strict person with great expectation. She was expected to give quick response, which she's not.

The second doctor was a person with eccentric personality who like to spend his leisure time playing the stacko. No one really knows what's in his mind. When he saw Usako who is slow, he finds it annoying and decided to ignore her completely.

The third doctor was a unique 'clown' doctor. He taught his patience to do para-para dance. He plays a board game with his patience using the patience's snacks as the bet. This time, it was Usako who finds him annoying.

The last doctor was a female doctor who cares more about her boyfriends than the patients. She is pretty ignorance and treat her male-nurse as if they were her servants.

There's lot of time when social conflicts took place. The first 'strict' doctor who's so strict that causes her to work even though she had a high fever. She was so afraid that she dares not ask the permission to rest. At last when she told him that she's sick, the doctor was astounded. He could not figure out why wouldn't she tell him at the first place.

The second 'eccentric' doctor who finds her annoying send someone to keep her away from him. He did not let her to assist him and refuse to teach her anything. Story reveals that when he realised how devoted she is, he trust her completely and even willing to sacrifice his career for her learning purpose.

The third 'clown' doctor who she finds ignorance and unprofessional turns out to be the most considerate doctor. She figures out that he believes in healing the body, it is important to heal the mind as well. He believe that laughter is the best medicine and use the his own way to treat his patients.

The last 'beauty' doctor is a person who has different personality from her acts. Though she may say that she cares more about herself but at the end, her patients is her priority.

Which type of doctor are you? Aren't we all acts as the doctors in this world? We says, "we want to help, to heal, to love, to understand those who needs Jesus"

From all the doctors, though they do not have the same personality nor working attitudes but they put their patience above all. Have we put those 'patients' above our needs?

It is easy to judge people on their performance, but have we check our own performance? Can we say, "I have done my best"?

In order to do His works, we ought to work as a part of the body of Christ. And there are people who are strict, playful, eccentric or ignorance; but then could we all accept that His creation is unique in order to complete His works?

God has zero debts

In last 2 months, I often joke around with my fellow church friends who do me a favor, that their reward is waiting for them in heaven. It was the same statement I'll say to myself everytime I felt exhausted during my "working hours". It is the ultimate awakening to go on with what I want to do for my God.

But God reminded me that "GOD does not owe us anything" He'll never say, "I'll pay you back later". He simply does not owe! Everyday His blessing is poured upon me whether I want to acknowledge it or not.

Remember this:

"God does not owe you answers to your prayers. God does not owe you His presence. God does not owe you help when you are in trouble. "

So stay still knowing His blessings is poured everyday in your life until the end of time!

A little box

Last friday, I went to the company Christmas Dinner @ Waters Edge. It's a beautiful restaurant by the sea with Harbour Bridge view complete with sparks from the Luna Park. The party starts at 6.30 and ended 12.00 pm. It was the first company Christmas dinner I've attended and it was awesome!

I realise sometimes I choose to seek Him in my list of options. I choose to seek His presence in the church, I choose to feel His comfort in my fellow Christian friends' arms, I choose to be taught by His words through the lips of people I've chosen etc.

The fact is God works in His way, God is everywhere, God is simply God. I could not put Him in my little box and expect Him to stay there.

God truly shows me His love through my colleagues' gesture, His presence was so thick before the party when me and my colleagues were getting ready, when we're taking photos and even after the party when I was dropping them off. God presence is everywhere, if only I've let Him out of the box sooner.

When I reached home that nite, I opened my little box and threw it away. I've decided to let God be GOD :)

Beyond and over the hill of EXPECTATION

What is it with me and expectation?

I'm dissapointed when things goes beyond it, and I'm thrilled when things goes over the hill.

My life is full of expectation I may say. I have a very high expectation of myself and others. And reality reveals that not only me myself have expectation but there are things that people expect from me too. And then, I still have to ask God 'What is His expectation of me?'

Which concerns me most? My expectation that everyone should work as hard as I do, to meet people's expectation of me which I struggle, or to meet God's expectation?

A lot of words said and events done stuck on my head till this moment. I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong, how could I understand myself and others more. I've read a lot of books to fix myself. But time to time I still feel that what I've done is never enough. And the feeling of giving up is chasing after me.

Today I read someone's testimony saying:
"...I just wanted to share that my personal way to deal with expectations is to just focus on God, trust that He will show me what the priorities are. After all, when is all said and done, other people are just that -people-, and events many times are not as important as they seem. When I'm tired of being stretched to my limits by people and life in general, I take it as God's way of telling me to be alone and spend time with HIM. That puts things into perspective."

Lord, I want to learn to focus on you more and more. I pray that You would take away all the words and events which stuck on my head. Renew my mind, my soul and my strength. Amen.

A minute to spare

I'm feeling re-energised after an awesome weekend with my girlfriends!!

Awesome adj

Definition:

1. whole nite long girls talk

2. 'smoked salmon and scramble egg' bfast at 12 noon

3. pedicure spa in the afternoon

4. fruit salad dinner accompanied with chick flick

I've always tried to apply the principle of J.O.Y in my daily life. Jesus first, Others second, You last. But then I'm still human who could be exhausted and needs a minute to spare on myself.

Even God says, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" How could you love others if you don't love yourself?

Put thought unto Giving

My grandma lives in my hometown Medan, Indonesia. I don't really know her that well coz I've been living in Jakarta ever since I was 10. Then I was in Malaysia for my study and now I stay in Sydney, Australia. I pay her a visit once a year during my summer holiday in Medan. Since I started working, always manage to prepare a *red pocket* and regard myself as a good grand daughter.

This year I decided not to go back for christmas nor Chinese new year. Then I was thinking, "Should I just send a *red pocket*". But the idea of sending and not giving it myself during Chinese new year is kinda meaningless. So I thought, lets buy a gift :)

I brainstorm ideas of what my grandma likes. Looking to the past, I was satisfied with my own idea of giving A$ as she would be able to buy things that she needs or likes. Now when I want to buy something she would like, I had a lot of things to consider. I need to put thought into giving!

Then I remember my mom always tell me how stressed my grandma was before every Chinese new year. The question of a million women, "What should I wear". Given my grandma is old and not as slim as she was, it's hard to find her clothes in Indonesia. Size above 10 is not exactly popular there compared to Australia. And so I went to a plus size shop near my office.

That minute I got into the shop, I realised how clueless I am. I had absolutely no idea of what size she should wear left alone her favourite colour. I'm truly ashamed. I almost cancel my plan to buy her clothes simply because it's pricey and I couldn't guarantee if it would fit. But then I heard a voice, "Why are you being reluctant to spend your money? Even if it does not fit, the thought itself matters." And so I bought the clothes with good faith.

A happy ending, clothes fit my grandma well. She's so pleased with the gift simply because I put more thought on giving this time compared to the *red pocket* in the past years.

Next time when you want to give, put
your thought
into it :)

*red pocket*
It's a chinese tradition to give “Hong Bao”, or little red envelopes filled with money, for special occasions.

(Miss)understood

Have you ever been misunderstood? Been judged harshly by someone who read a false motive into something you said or did? It is the feeling of dissapointment when we have done our best for a good intention yet ended up wronged by others.

Well I do.. Then I'll ask myself so many times, "What did I do wrong?". When I'm done asking myself, I decided to ask God.

me: "God, am I not doing my best? Why would this happened to me?"

God: "Are you saying you don't deserve to be misunderstood? So tell me... what do you expect from them?"

me: "I do not expect a 'Thank you' but at least I expect them to trust and understand my good intention."

God: "Well child... Have you ever played the game called Chinese Whisper?

me: "Yes, of course. It's a game where one whisper a phrase to the next person and so on. The sentence would then be greatly differed when it reaches the last person"

God: "There you are. Don't you get the idea that most people find it's hard to listen? Even Jesus knows about being misunderstood. When he preached in Nazareth, his boyhood home, the people dismissed him as a nobody. 'Isn't this the carpenter's son?' they asked. He must have felt terribly alone when people misread and misjudged him. "

me: "I understand what you meant. But it still hard to face these people."

God: "This is what you should do. Pray for them, be kind and respectful, seek the good and privately work in the best interests of those who are working against us, and purposely avoid telling them what we do for them."

Me: "Alrite God. I'll do that"

God: "Good. And remember one thing, when you feel like you're abandoned know that I'll always by your side"

"You will all leave me; yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me"
(John 16:32).

Travel in time

I remember the time when as a child I fancy the cool stuff in Doraemon movie. It's a story of a robot called "Doraemon" who travels in time to the era of 19s. And he has all these cool amazing stuff in his 4-dimensional pocket. Of all the stuff he has, my favourite is the time machine in Nobita's desk drawer.

I could think of a lot of things i could do with that thing :) On the top of my list is traveling to the exam day and get all the exam questions. Well, what more could you expect from a child... But now when I grew up, I wish i could go to the future and get the answers to all my questions.

A lots of time in my life, I ask myself "Am I doing the right thing?". I wonder if I'm taking the right degree, doing the right job, having the right guy, serving in the right ministry and so on. I may not have all the answers in life but I do know Someone is watching over me.

Lets travel in time! Imagine it is the last day of your life. A picture of you and your partner sitting on the bench in the park. Ask yourself these questions:

"What would you be proud of?" "If there's anything you could change, what would that be?" "Would there be any regret?"

Ponder on your answers and hopefully you'll know what to do now..

A sip of T E A

T E A is what I have to start my morning, to fill me up during my afternoon craving and to warm me up in cold winter nite. In other words, I have cuppa tea for almost everyday regardless of any moods I'm in.

I do hope I could consume the 'words of God' just like I enjoy my sip of T E A. Starting my day being thankful of having a gud nite sleep; craving for a new revelation each day and embrace His loving words during the toughest season of my life.

Just like there's always a milky cup of English Breakfast tea to start my day, a hot cuppa green tea to relieve my stomach after a big lunch, God words is always able to teach, comfort, encourage, challenge, strengthen me from time to time.

"Isn't it wonderful to have our sip of T E A in each day of our lives?"