The essence of Desire

When I was in junior high school, I love to draw. I could spend my whole weekend in my room just drawing sketches. I once thought that maybe I could be a painter. Since painter was and still is not a desirable career path, my dad suggested maybe I could learn to be an interior designer. I performed well enough on my national exam and getting to any senior high school was not an issue. So at last, I chose my school based on the best school I could enrolled myself into.

Time flied and then it's time to make another decision. I graduated from an university in Sydney, majoring in I.T. Should I apply for permanent residency and stay in Sydney? Or should I go back to my country or move to another country? Every path is simply feasible, making it harder to make a choice!

Have you been in these circumtances before? The options are there, the choice is yours! You can choose do A, or you can choose to B. There's no right or wrong. What we're missing here is the essence of "desire". Do I want to do it? And how will this fit in God's plan for my life?

Back to my story, I decided to stay and applied for permanent residency. I had few challenges, but I persevered because I knew that was what I wanted. I knew that I would serve God mightyly in Sydney. God heard my desire and He responded. "Not simply because I can do it, but I have the desire to do it" is what exponiates my energy to persevere through what lies ahead.

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us."
II Corinthians 5:20

Grateful 24-7

Isn't it great if we can smile happily all the times? Just let thanksgiving fill our heart 'til there's no space for anything else. No resentment, no jealousy, no unsatisfied feelings. Yet it's our weakness as human beings that we tend to be ungrateful for what we have. We always want more and more! If Adam and Eve had been satisfied with all the stuffs that God gave them, we would not be here at the first place. The question is when will we be satisfied?

More than 30 years ago, people wanted something that can be used to communicate and Mr. Bell invented a telephone. Afterwards we wanted a mobile version of a telephone, hence Motorola invented the 1G mobile phone. Since then, there has been more demands than ever. Nowadays a mobile phone can almost do everything we can think of, yet there's more to add on.

When we think of what we need, it will never be enough! Have we ever stopped and think of others' needs? Have we taken the chance to pour the words of hope to someone who desperately needs it? In last few days, have I encouraged anyone? Have I spare couple of minutes letting someone know that he/she is important? When I've done that, trust I will be grateful 24-7.

The little things I can do

On one of the xmas cards I received, my special someone wrote this. "I thank you for all the little things you've done throughout the year. After all, it's the little things that counts and guess that's why I love you so."

As wonderful as it made me felt, I imagine if one day I am to receive such a word from Him. Now to think of what kind of little things I can do for Him, that's another thing.

I am no more than a sister, a daughter, a worker, a friend, a minister just like any other girls. To sum up, I'm just an ordinary person. What difference can I make for just being myself? But wait a second, didn't God just love to use the ordinary? Then He must be delighted to use a common girl like me!

Ideas start popping into my head... Maybe I should start by not complaining how sleepy I am the first thing in the morning? Instead I can greet my friends cheerfully! Spirit is contagious after all.

Next thing I want to do is a simple prayer a day for a person. I can spend couple of minutes to pray for a family member, a friend, a colleague or even someone I'm not fond of. What gift can be more special than a prayer? I can go on and on. He's cheering for me to show Him what I got!

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-10)

Swimming through the pool of life

I still remember my first swimming lesson when I was a 7-year old. Back then the lesson was how to float on my back. My tutor held my waist, made me lie on the water and put his hands on my back to support me. Occasionally he would let go of his hands purposely, and every time he did that I panicked. Until one day when I watched him teaching the same lesson to the other kid, I came to realize one thing. His hands were not touching her back, but they were just below her back ready to support her whenever it’s needed.

Just as the Psalmist said, “If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.”

I learned that no matter what troubles come my way, God allow it to happen. If the circumstance hasn’t changed yet, it simply means that there’s still more for me to conquer. And most importantly, there’s no need to panic as it will only get myself into more troubles. I would be still because He’s nearby; ready to stretch His hands anytime He thinks it’s needed. And who knows our limit better than He does?

Seeds of kindness

Woke up one morning and found no milk in my fridge, I decided to grab some from the nearest Coles. While waiting in the queue, I looked around and saw this old man tried to grab a tomato can from the lower shelf. He bended over and accidentally caused some cans to fall off the shelf. I ran over and picked those cans from the floor, then walked back and queued at the very end. Surprisingly the lady in front of me asked me to move in front of her and so were some customers in front of her. I vividly remembered one of them told me, “You were helping somebody; you don’t deserve to queue again.”

This happened 4 years ago and it has continued to encourage me to never grow weary of doing good. Random people may not understand what Christianity is, but they will surely embrace the kindness of a Christian. Only God can transform people, but seeds of kindness can be planted by any of us. Practice and it will become part of who we are, Christians!

So what do You think?

Mary was out shopping with Jane one day when she saw this beautiful gorgeous dress. She rushed to the changing room, eager to see how it would look on her. After 10 minutes of looking at herself in the mirror, it’s time to ask Jane the ultimate question “So what do you think? Does this dress make me look fat?”

Now, the women might be giggling realising it’s a fact and the guys might be smiling naughtyly. But do know that guys do just about the same thing when it comes to their cars or a new toy. “So what do you think” question pops out almost every single day in our lives.

Have you ever read the review first before buying something? Have you ever checked the rating before watching a movie? The truth is we as social being do care about others’ opinion. But do we care enough about God’s opinion? Have we kept the know-it-all God in our speed dial?

One-dot-at-a-time

One of the games I fancy as a child was Connect-the-dots. Nowdays seeing those games on sunday school books, the child in me never cease to be intrigued. I simply urged to grab a pencil and connect the dots, one dot at a time.

The same method applies in life, we need to take one step forward at a time. When time is peaceful, it's an easy task. Yet when challenges start to strike in my life, I begged God to let me go backwards to my peaceful dot but of course God says, "No can't do".

I'll then found myself praying, drowning in tears, asking Him to turn things around. I'll stomp my feet refusing to take the next step until He blew my problem away. Foolish, I am. Knowing that if I don't go to the next dot, the whole picture would never be revealed. Just like if I wan't to tell somebody a thing and stop after the word "I", nobody would know what I'm trying to say.

God creates only beautiful things. Taking one more step, I'll be one step closer to reveal a beautiful me. Trusting His character when not knowing His plan, it shows how good I know Him.

The other side of wrong

I guess life is inclining more toward the wrong side these days. Questions like "What's wrong with him, her and the world?" or "What did I do wrong?" often pop up in our daily conversation. On the other hand, good things seems to fade away in silence.

Debugging was one of my daily routine through out my Uni lifes. Spending those hours trying to locate the bugs in my program (I was an IT student back then) has made me into a super-critical monster when dealing with mistakes. Believe me, this would happen to you after searching thoroughly for days; only to find a mislocated comma. I believe everyone must've experienced these kind of quest just as simple as looking for an error in a calculation.

Watching the 'Bones' TV series yesterday, I was so touched by the reality that even a dog could manage to only see the good side of a person. The episode was about a dog named Ripley, who simply follow his master's order to attack another person. That person died and ironicallyRipley was put down. The intriguing part is the fact that his owner raise Ripley for a dog-fighting show, sew his wound carelessly only to put him in another dog fight and yet he loves him until the end.

And that's exactly how God sees the good in us no matter how we mistreat Him. So when will we start looking at the other side of wrong? Lets do our best to only see the good in people :)

"Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back" Deutronomy 30:4

Never Mind

Brothers love, brothers hurt
Sisters encourage, sisters dissapoint

How many of us have ever been dissapointed or hurt by our loved ones? The more we love them, the deeper the impact.

Me, myself has quite a forgiving personality. If someone run into me or step on my feet, I would sincerely say "never mind". When a waiter brought a dish which was not exactly what I've ordered, I'd still generously offer my "never mind". In short, I am the type of person who never mind those who jump the queue in front of me.

Lucky are those passerby in my life, coz I ain't that forgiving to those aren't. "They should understand me more!" "They should know me better!" Such thoughts keep pumping my adrenalin, turning those little incidents or misunderstanding unto unforgiving acts..

Never mind is the word we normally offer to passing-by people in our lives. But this word doesn't seem popular when it comes to those who stay permanently on our sides. I wonder how much 'never mind' stock God has, considering how naughty and unthoughful we are. Furthermore I wonder how could we offer such a tiny sum to the ones we love...

"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. " Matthew 5:7 (The Beatitudes)

Getting through the maze of L.I.F.E

Living each and everyday may feels like wandering inside a maze looking for the exit. Not knowing whether we should turn right or left at the junction, we choose to depend on our guts. If we're lucky enough, we'll find a promising paths, else dead ends are unavoidable.

Now as a Christian, I often think shouldn't we get a better life than that? I mean, we have a BIG God after all thus I demand a better life.

To get through a maze, there's a method called "The left-hand method". Simply place your left-hand on the left-hand wall upon entering the maze and follow that wall all the way around. The principle is to never remove your hand from the wall.

Lets carefully observe how we live our lives till this moment. The left-hand method would not work if we let go of the left-hand wall. It requires us to stick to the left-hand wall no matter how long we have to walk around and the number of cul-de-sacs we met on the way. The same principle goes for our lives. We ought to hold on to Him no matter how long we have to wait and the number of obstacles we have to face.

If after a few cul-de-sacs, a man decided to let go of the left-hand wall then he may get lost in the maze. If he doesn't wait patiently while following the wall all around, then he might let it go and trapped inside the maze. If he thought the other path is more promising than following the left-hand wall, he might be up for a wild goose chase.

The truth is we do have a better life than those who get lost and trapped inside the maze. God is our left-hand wall, the only way to the exit. Wait patiently, fight for your faith in Him no matter what!

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him." Psalm 62:5

What's your flavour?

Have you ever thought about how do we tell the difference between sweet, sour, salty and bitter?

I vaguely remember a picture of the tongue showing the location of the four taste buds. Sweet and salty near the front, sour buds on the sides and bitter on the very back of it. Always thought where on the tongue the material lands is the answer, apparently not so..

The correct answer is how the material reacts chemically. Salt, for example, allowing sodium ions to enter the taste buds. A chemical reaction releases calcium ions which then send the message to the nerve cells and finally a signal to the brain that it's salty.

Now and then, what kind of material are we? What reaction do we release? Do we send the sweet signal to people's taste buds? Sourness? Or even bitterness?

It's certainly naive to think that we're definitely sending the sweet signal; only when we land on the "problem-free" areas. The essence of sweetness will only take place when we release "His love" to the lifes of those who are hurting, dissapointed and problematic. Don't you agree?

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses is flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men”

Matthew 5:13 NKJV

To be a better me

Sitting behind me in the bus this morning were an old man and a young woman. The old man asked the young woman what time it was. She took her mobile out of her handbag and said "It's 10 to 9". He thanked her and told her how efficient it was nowadays where everyone has a mobile and no need of watch.

Later on, he continued the conversation by asking her whether she watched the Beijing olympics. They chat for a while on how glamorous it was. The conversation switched to paralympic after a while. Apparently she didn't watch the paralympic so the old man started telling her a 'lil bit of story.

He said "There's a young man who won the gold medal in butterfly stroke swimming championship. And guess what, he has no arms!". The young woman was surprised and so was I. I was trying to imagine a butterfly stroke swimmer without arms back then. "Moreover", he continued. "... that swimmer is a record-breaking machine. Everytime he race, he finished the race by few seconds faster."

I won't qualify myself as a sport person but I do know a few seconds difference does matter in sports. But what I do not realise before is the effort to attain those few seconds. For this man who has no arms (after doing some research I then know his name is Igor Plotnikov) to actually become faster by seconds must've meant sweat and tears. Not mentioning his opponents are those who are disabled but still has their arms attached.

How about us then? How much effort are we willing to put to be a better person? To change ourselves is surely a great challenge for anyone to take. Yet Christians swore themselves to be just like Jesus. Now, what have we done to be closer to that goal? Can we put more effort to gain a 'lil bit more patience? Are we willing to die to our flesh to be a 'lil bit more compassionate to those difficult people?

Imagine me without YOU

Woke up on my bed not knowing what the time is, I decided to stay in bed doing nothing at all. 15 minutes past, I looked around and found no clock around me. Then I continue my 'simply doing nothing' activity.

Lets imagine how we would live without the existence of time to guide us. We won't know when to sleep, eat, go to work etc. Then I imagine how I would live if I don't have God to guide me. It would be the same, wouldn't it? I simply wouldn't know why I should do this and should not do that. It's gonna be life without a purpose..

Surely all of us are so blessed to have God around to guide us. Lets hope that more and more will come to know Him.

"I once was lost, but now I'm found. I once was blind, but now I see."

When thank You seems to be the hardest word

When I got off the bus, I always say "thank you" to the bus driver. That's my way of always be thankful of the smallest thing. No matter how sleepy or tired I am, I manage to maintain my goodwill of saying "thank you". But one day, I was so pissed off that I was thinking how could the bus driver deserve my "thank you" when I was in such a bad circumtances.

Have you ever felt like i felt? So pissed off 'til the thought of noone deserve my "thank you" overwhelmed me?

The Bible says to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

How should i thank You for something that makes me unhappy? One thing for sure, God is magnificent. He purposedly said, in all circumtances not for all circumtances... He did not ask us to be thankful for the things that makes us unhappy (even though we can if we want..) instead He told us to be thankful in any situations.

Now, what should we be thankful for then in that tough circumtances? How 'bout this..

I thank You for Your unchanged love that would remain true no matter

what kind of struggle I currently have.

Am I a Martha?

Days goes by and the weight on my shoulder become too heavy to carry. Rushing with my work, my study, my family, my life..., world is spinning so fast that I find hard to cope with.

Again and again I always come back to God with all my weaknesses. Tough might define me from people perspective but I know I'm far from being tough when I kneel before God knowing how weak I am. Realising that, I tried to console myself. Convincing myself that it's His plan, it's what He wants me to do. 'Til some point, I reach the 'doubting' point. Is this true? Is it my imagination? Or it is what God wants from me?

Isn't He supposed to test me without going over my strength limit? But again who am I to argue with God? God is God, I am not.

" 'Martha, you are so upset. . . . There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it. . . . ' " Luke 10:41-42

This is a wonderful reminder from God Himself:
I once read about a life-sized granite sculpture of Jesus by a Danish artist named Thors Walden. Walden sculpted the body of Christ in such a way that you can't see His face from a standing position. Next to the statute, however, is a sign that reads, "If you want to see the face of Jesus, you must sit at His feet." Sure enough, if you get down at the foot of the statue, you can look up and clearly see the face of Jesus.

When I was running for Him, have I taken the time to sit before Him confirming that He wants me to continue to run.. Am I the Martha who runs and forgotten to sit?

Too good to be true

Do you ever experience the insecurity feeling of losing what we have when everything goes so well in our lives? If not, I have..

I always ask myself why would I have such feeling? Why would I think of a bad thing when everything good is happening? Does that mean I don't trust God enough?

The "Ann Landers" advice column which is regular in US newspaper for 45 years would receive 10,000 letters a month about people’s problems. She was asked, what is the number one problem that people have? It all boils down to anxiety. She said people are afraid of losing their health. People are afraid of losing their wealth. People are afraid of losing their loved ones. She said people are afraid of life itself.

Maybe the question of "What is my treasure?" would reveal the answer I need.
Matthew 6:21 says, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" When we treasure our wealth, health, family, church, occupation above all else, our heart is there. And as we realised we could lose any of it anytime, anxiety has consumed our heart.

God has treasured us by giving His own life for us. We said He is our saviour, in Him we put our trust that everything will be alright. But the big question is "Have we treasured God?"Have we really treasure the One that would never leave us?

When we learn to treasure God far more valuable than the other things we treasure, life would never be too good to be true :)

It's good to be t.i.r.e.d

Glad to be back to my healthy days :)

I've been sick for a week, feeling dizzy and tired for whole 4 days have brought up my spirit to do something BIG for my GOD!!

I'm reading a book called "Jesus, save me from Your followers". When I saw it in WORDS bookshop, my eyes was locked in and I knew immediately that's a book for me. Some of my friends do not get it though when they first read the title of the book.

However, this book is a testimony of a Pastor in US. Telling us about the struggles of dealing with christians leaders and ministers instead of non-christians. There's a phrase which I read when I was sick "When you are tired, do it tired!"

When I was sick, I couldn't do things that I want to do. And it seems like ages waiting wait patiently 'til I'm good to go. As we all know, when we feel un-ease, we delay all the things that we want to do. Excuses lying around for us to grab... when actually we could just make our choice and go for it!

Until few days ago, t.i.r.e.d is what I felt in my ministry life, my work life and other things in my life. I just feel like I'm not going anywhere, so tired and exhausted that I decided to stop everything that I'm doing. I grab the excuse of "before I go on.. I need to fill up my energy first."

"Do it tired" opened my eyes to a new revelation. For these whole time, I says "when u're tired, stop and take rest til you're completely recharged". But here the author says "when you are tired don't just stop but open more to God and your surrounding. It's not an excuse to stop, it is just a state of condition. The same state when you are busy or bored, happy or sad, you just keep going. And even he added that this state is actually an opportunity to free more capacity in your life for God to fill. How beautiful that is.

So it's good to be t.i.r.e.d, empty that space that's not needed and lets God fill it with new things!

To read and not to write

Have you ever wish that people would do what you think they should've done?
Or do things the way you think it supposed to be done?
In other word, to wish that all people would be just like me? Think like me, act like me... how hard would that be?

Here is a awakening thought "Things that thrills me might bothers others"

I believe some or even few people in the world are good listeners, and I'm definitely not one of them. That is why psychiatrist is highly paid to L.I.S.T.E.N.

We are so busy trying to 'write' and ignore the fact that it is important to 'read' too. Sometimes we are trapped in the world of "I know better" "There's nothing wrong in doing things my way".
And mostly it wasn't due to being arrogant or selfish. We are just desperately wanna do things better, which means it has to be done our way.

Maybe it's time for us to increase our reading hours. Instead of 'write' - trying to fix things, to get people to change, we could pause and look at ourselves. We may have to change our own way of thinking. I know it is extremely hard because what we want to do is not necessarily wrong, but it is just not the right thing to do for us and others' sake :)

This is the challenge : Do one thing you don't like per day, and see how it goes!

An empty vessel

A lot of times in my prayer, I would ask God to use me. The question is, how much space in my life which I left God to fill?

Lets see... I'm not exactly an empty vessel as I would love to be. I have my own dream, goal, plans to fulfilled. I saw myself in the future as a business analyst who work in a challenging environment. I saw myself serving God from behind the curtain in the church, at my workplace etc.

What if God tells me now, "Leave your job and be a missionaire" Would I be able to say 'YES' undoubtly?

Do we really meant it when we say "God, use me"?

What type of doctor are you?

I've just bought a new j-dorama which story evolves around Usako; a female intern who is working towards her dream to be a doctor. Then in order for her to be a doctor, she has to be trained by doctors from different department in the hospital.

The first doctor was a strict person with great expectation. She was expected to give quick response, which she's not.

The second doctor was a person with eccentric personality who like to spend his leisure time playing the stacko. No one really knows what's in his mind. When he saw Usako who is slow, he finds it annoying and decided to ignore her completely.

The third doctor was a unique 'clown' doctor. He taught his patience to do para-para dance. He plays a board game with his patience using the patience's snacks as the bet. This time, it was Usako who finds him annoying.

The last doctor was a female doctor who cares more about her boyfriends than the patients. She is pretty ignorance and treat her male-nurse as if they were her servants.

There's lot of time when social conflicts took place. The first 'strict' doctor who's so strict that causes her to work even though she had a high fever. She was so afraid that she dares not ask the permission to rest. At last when she told him that she's sick, the doctor was astounded. He could not figure out why wouldn't she tell him at the first place.

The second 'eccentric' doctor who finds her annoying send someone to keep her away from him. He did not let her to assist him and refuse to teach her anything. Story reveals that when he realised how devoted she is, he trust her completely and even willing to sacrifice his career for her learning purpose.

The third 'clown' doctor who she finds ignorance and unprofessional turns out to be the most considerate doctor. She figures out that he believes in healing the body, it is important to heal the mind as well. He believe that laughter is the best medicine and use the his own way to treat his patients.

The last 'beauty' doctor is a person who has different personality from her acts. Though she may say that she cares more about herself but at the end, her patients is her priority.

Which type of doctor are you? Aren't we all acts as the doctors in this world? We says, "we want to help, to heal, to love, to understand those who needs Jesus"

From all the doctors, though they do not have the same personality nor working attitudes but they put their patience above all. Have we put those 'patients' above our needs?

It is easy to judge people on their performance, but have we check our own performance? Can we say, "I have done my best"?

In order to do His works, we ought to work as a part of the body of Christ. And there are people who are strict, playful, eccentric or ignorance; but then could we all accept that His creation is unique in order to complete His works?